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you've been pushed beyond your limits because you came here to defy them

My defensiveness is reflexive, and lately I have been teetering on edge. 

It is no surprise when the most intimate aspects of my life 

have been shared all over the world 

and yet they are completely invisible to the people around me 

 

I walk around this paradox in my head like

there is no conclusion to be made 

just truth to witness 

and so

it can feel exhausting 

walking in circles 

to be so vulnerable all the time 

 

i know 

there are no words to neatly describe 

the pain of empowerment 

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Me and mom

For My Mom

Thank you for raising me to be strong enough to face the world 

and then for standing by my side while I stand up for myself. 

I know how hard it can be to relive our experiences of my transition in front of an audience,

but I have seen the impact that your process has had on others, 

watching you change has changed people. 

beside me, 

your transformation is just as remarkable as mine. 

 

I don't care about the mistakes we've made 

I care that we decided to learn from them 

 

 ♥

 

 

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I did this for you

My first night in Edinburgh, I slept in the airport. I waited too long to book a bed in a hostel, so I found myself a bench without arm rests and laid down. I woke up an hour later, relieved to be in good company. There were people laying all over the airport, on benches, on the floor, on top of each other. I laid my head back down. It wasn’t my best nights sleep, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever had, either. 

No longer do I stress about plans, itineraries, or logistics. Still, the biggest scar I wear is my…

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Transition is surrender

Oh, how time can move both fast & slow is so amazing to me 
5/21 marks four years into my transition 

when I started, I wondered what my life would look like in a few years, 

who would know the details of my identity crisis? 
  
was I in school? would my classmates know? 
where was I living? what was I doing for work? 
what will it look like when I meet the love of my life? 
Will this be a secret that I have to come-out with? 
a part of my self that I only confide in a few? 
Why do I feel like I have to hide this…

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make a happy ending

Right now, all around this country, there are people trying to pass legislation that polices the right of transgender and gender non-conforming folks to use public restrooms… 

The fact that these bullies have made it a priority for our country to invest public attention and resources into an issue that doesn't even exist is mind-numbing 

and the fact that people buy into this garbage is exhausting. 

The anti-lgbt proponents of these bills 
are notorious "religious freedom" groups 
who apparently, 
after all…

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Identity is Destiny 

4/25/2016

BFI Flare, an LGBT film festival recently flew me overseas for the first public screening of REAL BOY.

Y'all I was sooooo nervous.

I saw the film for the first time a week before I left. A WEEK ! That is like …. no time at all to prepare myself for taking this story public.  

A lot of people have asked me if it's uncomfortable, 

watching my nineteen year old self navigate the beginning of my transition. 

Yeah. it's a little bit' weird. 

I wasn't exactly graceful. I was angry. 

I was pissed at…

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Ode To The Road:

~3/16/2016    

I love that all the money I’d spend to rent 
  
a place to work  a job
  
goes into my gas tank, and takes me 
  
on an adventure 
  
   surrounded by tokens 
  
of affection

from friends I’ve made 
  
and kept

along the way 

  
   I’ve learned that it is wiser for me to 
  
understand how to live than

how to make a living 

and 
  
more  meaningful to

work for something 
  
than for someone 
  
  
a few years ago
I realized that I didn’t know
what I was going to do 
 with the rest of my life
  
I guess I didn’t think 
that 
I…

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Don't Say I Didn't Warn Ya

~ 3/11/2016 



Only God Can Judge Me
but i know she'd rather love me
kiss my scars and wipe my tears
and hold my hand when things get ugly
cus' I know, I know
it won't be long before it's coming back around
it's going down, and don't you say I didn't warn ya

Recently, Coyote Joe and I met up in Philly long enough to play a few tunes at a Universalist Unitarian Church just outside the city. 

Ramble on, song dog! 

call to rise

~ 2/12/2016 


The revelation of my identity had been emerging in my awareness for some time.
It kind of happened in steps
I really didn't want to be transgender
I had negative associations with that word
 i had already been in therapy for years
because of a curios chemical
reaction to puberty
starting at 
the age
of 12
and
I guess 
 I assumed that if I had a condition someone would have given me a  diagnosis
and I guess
that my parents 
had a feeling but they
also obeyed the stigma 
hoping, waiting, maybe
it was anything

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REAL BOY :: A DOCUMENTARY

~ 1/14/2016 


When I met filmmaker Shaleece Haas, I had recently started my transition and had just moved into an attic in Sacramento, California for the summer. The house I was living in was hosting a show, and I was opening for some of my gender-journeying musical heroes, Eli Conley, Storm Miguel, and Joe Stevens. 
  
Prior to coming out, I had only played my songs in front of an audience a few times- and I mostly panicked and forgot my own words or just felt pretty damn anxious the entire time. When I…

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